Be Cool
My mantra as a parent to two teenagers
Dear Friends,
Last week, a friend asked me for some parenting advice. I always hesitate to advise my fellow moms. It’s not that I’m especially humble; I’ve just barely figured anything out myself. As I searched for words to comfort my friend that day, though, it occurred to me that there is something I am continually practicing as a mother: Being cool.
Not rockstar cool or let’s be best friends cool. But cucumber cool. Relaxed, unfazed, and in-control cool.
I summon that chill when I don’t want to spook my kids. When they feel like a crush who has finally noticed me or the skittish neighborhood squirrel I want to befriend. Either way, the answer is the same. Be cool, Christine. Be cool.
This is what it looks like in practice: Oh my goodness, my son is standing beside me, taking photos of the full moon. My daughter put my arm in hers and her head on my shoulder. They laughed at my joke! They think I’m funny! Inside, I am dying of exquisite joy, savoring every precious second. But outside, I am like, yeah, big deal, whatever. This kind of thing happens all the time.
Same goes for high stakes conversations or heated arguments. When I want to make a point or teach a lesson, I am tempted to get loud and in their face. But instead I take a slow breath and select my words. And then I say my piece, in a matter-of-fact kind of way. This is how I see it, no discussion necessary. Crisis averted.
Does it work? Sometimes. When I find that calm, I’m able to enjoy these tiny, miraculous moments with my children. And when it doesn’t, well, that’s when the universe pokes me in the shoulder, reminding me I am not in control. Not even a little.
xo Christine
Good Things
When a precious package makes it safely to its destination and I can sigh relief
The Getty Villa plus Bay Cities makes a pretty perfect day
Seeing a new brand I’ve designed come to life
Two pots of soup on the stove
Making friends with the people at my local Trader Joes
The day after acupuncture
New-to-me music I’m enjoying: CMAT and Rostam
Widow’s Bay is creepy and funny and delightfully surprising
Funny messages from my favorite uncle
Even voting with Rama is fun
Good Quote
Good Deed of the Day
Take someone you like out for ice cream. Bonus points if it’s a mom-and-pop shop. You’ll be brightening someone’s day and supporting a local business. Plus, it’s ice cream! Win, win, win.
"They think I'm funny!" is what made me chuckle when we were in the living room and you asked, "what?"